pencil, logo and toys

Months ago, I thought i lost my Alba watch. not just a watch but the watch i bought with my first salary. I was TERRIBLY sad, some people made jokes about it, others didn't care but one person said: "I know what it means" ..... Merci mariam.

The thing i was trying to explain to everyone is that it's not about the watch but about the memory of my first salary and what that meant to me then.

this week another one of the flock left the country, again it jumps to my mind. what kind of stuff she'll take to save her memories?

it's something not many people share actually, not everyone connect items with memories, those people are the ones that find it so easily to throw away old stuff, but for us the memories/stuff characters we can't.

Looking deep into my stuff, i found those 3 things that i keep for more then a decade: a pencil, school logo, toys.

WHY?

The pencil is the one I used in the architecture class (عمارة) in Thanaweya Amaa 0.7mm. at this point i had a dream to be an engineer, and of course it didn't happen. in the class, the architecture teacher said to me over and over how great my drawings are, of course he said completly the opposite when he saw my artistic draws (فنون) :(

this pencil represents the dream, the hopes for the future that i had one day. this pencil says to me i'm not an engineer but i can make a great architecture sketchs after all. in a way i'm an artist even if the system says i'm not.

I liked the architecture class very much, because of what i was during it. i was doing something i like very much, creating dreams, actually enjoying having a pencil and ruler in my hands and for seconds i was thinking i'm the greatest architecture on earth.

the school logo is there not because i love my school, NO i hate school, always had and always will. but i keep the logo because it represents the education that i'm thankfull for having. education helps to define the personality, and i had a great education, which gave me better chances then usual, I'm proud of being in a good school and had a good education. One of the first things Obama said to his people after being president is go back to school, he addressed the mothers at home asking them to go back to school to get an education to expand their opportunities in life.

the toys are the things that remind me of my best friend which i can't see, be with or talk to anymore, simply because she is dead. she bought those stuff so i would put it on my desk, things that teenage girls friends do, buying stuff that maybe unnecssary or unimportant and sometimes not even usefull but just for the sake of buying something to the friends. this stuff represents the memories of friendship, real deep innocent friendship, i'll never forget. RIP my friend.

but what if an item of those lost or broke, did this mean i'll lose the memory? will i forget my friend, my school or even my dreams?

the staight answer is NO, nothing will be forgetten BUT i'll be sad of course to loose this items.

what about you, do you connect your memories to items?