مساء الخييييييييييييييييييييييييير

ليه مش حيبقى عندنا مفاعل نووى ولا حتدخل اى جامعة من جامعاتنا قائمة اهم 500 جامعة فى العالم
علشان حالة التحشيش العام اللى بقينا فيها
مثال:
امبارح رحت لنجار علشان ييجى يصلح لنا حاجات فى البيت
وانا عمالة اشرحله الموقف وايه المطلوب
فاجأنى بالآتى:
- مش انتى بنت الدكتور؟
- ايوة
- هو مش باين ليه؟
- (اتساع فى حدقة العين - فتح الفم لآخره - كتم الصوت: باختصار تنحت)
- هو الله يرحمه ولا ايه؟
- (ردى عليه تكون من كلمة واحدة) 2001
- ياااه ده من مدة يعنى

طبعا النجار التايه دة لا جه ولا صلح ولا نيلة
ملاحظات مهمة جدا لتوضيح الصورة:
- النجار ده فى شارعنا
- لازم نعدى عليه على الاقل 5 مرات كل اسبوع (اى فرد من الاسرة) فى طريقنا لاى حتة
- بعد وفاة ابويا انا وامى واختى كنا كلنا لابسين اسود طبعا لشهوووووور

بمعنى: الراجل ده اخد 8 سنين علشان يلاحظ ان جار له اتوفى
واخيرا: مساء الخيييييييييييييييييييييييييييير يا مصر

وزارة الأوقاف تؤجر الشقق والداخلية تبيع العيش

كل واحد فاز بجائزة أو نجح فى حل الكلمات المتقاطعة نعرض عليه المنصب.. نفس العقلية المصرية التى تقدم المنصب لصاحب ثورة أو صاحب قرار أو صاحب جائزة أو حتى صاحب صاحبه دون نضال سياسى طويل أو انتخابات حقيقية.. لذلك عندنا البرلمان يناقش الجلابية والحجاب، بينما الأزهر يراقب الأعمال الأدبية، والثقافة تستخرج تراخيص الراقصات، ووزارة الأوقاف تؤجر الشقق، والداخلية تبيع العيش، والبترول تستكشف المواهب الكروية وهى نفس العقلية التى جعلتنا نكتشف حجر رشيد محمد رشيد ونرشحه للوزارة..
جلال عامر فى المصرى اليوم

SO AM I AN INTERNET GEEK?

someone at work asked me this: what is the time now?
i did set my watch +20m or more
so i know that looking to my watch isn't accurate
so i said: i'll check it to know the exact time
and i logged in to www.worldtime.zone.com
and told her:
come and look, the exact time is ..

she looked at the monitor and then at me and laughed
she said: anyone will answer this simple question by a simple 1 or 2 words, NO ONE ever will do the effort to search online just to check the time

I didn't want to say inaccurate answer, plus it didn't take me time or effort to check a website

SO AM I AN INTERNET GEEK?
"a peculiar or otherwise odd person, especially one who is perceived to be overly obsessed with one or more things including those of intellectuality, electronics, etc." Wikipedia

WIKIMANIA .. to be continued

last night in the BA, there was a meeting by the wikimania 2008 organizer about how to fill the gap in the arabic wikipedia
they were young people full of energy and hope
and i agree on everything they said
we should write about ourselves instead of letting the others write whatever they want about us
the speaker demonstrated some example:
- an israeli writer wrote that Israel won the kiboor day war (not that Egypt won the 6th october war)
- someone wrote that in alex, young homeless are selling BANGO to the tourists in the street in the daylight

one thing i want to say:
all the people who talked or the people who asked question were talking english/arabic language
as we "people in the IT world" always do
people can't make a full arabic sentence were talking about writing arabic articles
so FUNNNNNYYYYYYYY

el2al3a gat ganb elba7r

yesterday i went to Sidi Krir to pass sham elnessim there

i used the borg elarab airport road when going to

it's cool

wide and for someone like me, don't know much of the out of alexandria roads it was ok

not mush signs or U turns or anything

just 2 lanes long road

but going back to alex it was dark

and i took a wrong turn i was in a completly different road

i found my self in king mariot road

so this is beyond my limited mind

how the road of the west NORTH COAST connected to the road of KING MARIOT

which is suppose to be in the west south of the city

ezay el2al3a gat ganb elba7r?

commercial names

the name of any company, shop, firm , .... tells a lot about it
so people fi oropa wa eldawel elmotakadema make something (funny and time consuming) called MARKET RESEARCH
to gather enough data from the market to help the owners taking the right decision inculding choosing the corporate name
and because we sometimes consider the market research is a funny joke
we found this:
New Samaka beach village >>>> hotel/village in hurghada
IQ Company >>>> Wear shop in hurghada
afham ba2a??? 7aye3melo e7'tebar zaka2 lelnass we mush 7aybi3o elly lele IQ beta3hom >100?????????

TAXI

although i have a car, i use taxis a lot

sometimes i just want to go to a certain place without worrying myself about parking place availability especially NOW after alex become no street - no platform city

i saw junks called taxi

one of them has no WHEEL

i don't know where the pic i took it with my mobile, i believe i forget to copy it to my PC

the wheel was a plastic round with some wires in the middle

another fun junk was this



there is a gap in the floor, i did see the street from it

the gap is a foot size so any passenger can accidently put his foot on it to end up on the street

wedding invitation

gamda geddan
i think it's cooler then the ideas my sister is checking for her wedding invitation
and lessssssssssss expensive
LOL

engineering certificate

ok, this was extremley funny and i had to share it
i have this friend who works in a factory SHE IS AN ENGINEER and of course workers call her "bashmohandessa"
so again
1- bashmohandessa
2- working in a factory
3- her work tasks are: ordering/supervising/managing workers
it seems that all this aren't enough for people to understand
she told me about this dialogue happened between her and a worker
العاملة: هو حضرتك متعلمة يا باشمهندسة؟
الباشمهندسة: نعم !!!!!
العاملة: اقصد يعنى معاكى شهادة يا باشمهندسة؟
الباشمهندسة: طبعا امال ايه؟
العاملة: شهادة ايه يا باشمهندسة:
الباشمهندسة: باشمهندسة ... تبقى شهادة ايه؟؟؟؟
العاملة: ..... (تفكر وتفكر وتفكر)
الباشمهندسة: كلية هندسة .. باشمهندسة يعنى اتخرجت من كلية الهندسة
العاملة: بجد يا باشمهندسة؟
at this point my friend left the worker and began to think to change her career
LOL

Newely married hate marriage

this is FUNNYYYYYYYYYY

i have a friend who's newely married

he met his girl and proposed since ... ever i think .. i don't remember

they were engaged for 4 years i guess

and finally the long waited marriage was 2 weeks ago

Today he sent me marriage jokes, some of it:

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?

Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

*********

Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

العيد فرحة

العيد فرحة ... وأجمل فرحة
سعد نبيهة .... بيخليها
ذكرى جميلة لبعد العيد
ايووون
طول عمرى باسمع الأغنية كده
سعد نبيهة : ده الراجل اللى بيجى فى العيد فيخليها ذكرى جميلة لبعد العيد
بس كان عندى سؤال ازاى يبقى فيه واحد ابوه اسمه نبيهة ؟؟
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
لحد ما واحدة كويسة كده فهمتنى الموضوع ده من سنتين
المذهل بقى فعلا
انى اكتشفت انها الوحيدة اللى بتسمع الأغنية صح "سعدنا بيها" ... كل صحابى وكل زمايلى اللى كانوا موجودين ساعتها وهى بتشرحلنا
كانوا زى عايزين يعرفوا من سعد نبيهة ده !!!!
يالا ما علينا

AI vs Computer Geek

What's the differnece between computer geek and AI ????
AI speaks human

AI is Artificail Intelligence: computer machines dressed as human

AI: can i go there?
Computer Geek: can i login?

AI: I want to sleep
Computer Geek: I need to hibernate

Seriously it's not a joke, i know some computer geeks speak in a language consist of (setup, install, firewall, ...)verbs
I even know a geek has a nightmare once that (he can't boot his system to wake up) LOL

Auto Parking

when this technology will be available here? :)




Auto Parking - Funny blooper videos are here

Pick it up from the floor

This is not the Book Fair, it's a common library in Alexandria

(very famous publish institue)

the model of today is:

Pick up your book from the floor and read it

P.S: It's the black Comedy, people who suppose to sell books are the one who left the books on the floor

Fight Club

The boys @ work had a good time yesterday

THEY HAD A FIGHT

they were hitting each other and laughing

boys hit each other to spend a fun good time together ! ?

ok this is weird for me of course

i did know that before but i've never see it

Nothing bad did happen, but i was amazed to see big men playing fight club after work

it's Fight Club !!!!!!!!!

Email for every Citizen 2

بعد ان يكون لكل مواطن ايميل (على افتراض ان اصلا كل المواطنين عندهم بطاقات شخصية !!!!! )

الابن: باركيلى يا ماما جالى ايميل اصفر
ماما: يبقى ده اكيد ايميل التعيين يا حبيبى .. احمدك يارب

اللص: ايه اخبار القضية يا متر؟
المحامى: المحكمة حتبعتلك انذارات على الايميل بتاعك؟
اللص: طب والحل ايه؟
المحامى: حابعتلك ايميلات كبيرة دلوقتى علشان يتملا صندوقك ولما المحضر يبعتلك الايميل يرجعله
Failure Delivery

Email for every Citizen

on masrawy : the government plans to create an email account for every citizen @mailmasr
the news on masrawy

so suddenly, i remembered this ...

USA .. first world ???????

so they say we are THIRD WORLD !!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCkYfYa8ePI